TheAuthorOfChickens

Hosting a game of super mafia in CVC: https://www.chess.com/clubs/forum/view/super-mafia

I have 200+ friends I should probably go through them 💀

I am a Christian and not afraid to show it!

Can all the countries please stop fighting and just chill for 5 minutes ;-;

Pronouns: She/Her

Nicknames: Author, Chicken

Pfp: https://www.deviantart.com/fish-birb/art/Top-Gun-Maverick-922249541

Blog Activity

https://www.chess.com/blog/TheAuthorOfChickens

Most recent post: https://www.chess.com/blog/TheAuthorOfChickens/norad-santa-tracker-a-brief-history-lesson

I have returned after 8 or so months of inactivity:

https://www.chess.com/blog/TheAuthorOfChickens/checking-in-after-8-months

Quotes - No Context Allowed - Newest Additions On Top

 "My grilled cheese tonight was more like toasted bread with kinda melty cheese because I accidentally cut the cheese too thick." - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Hey Caleb, we may or may not have lost our minds for little bit..." - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"@theauthorofchickens going to quote the most unfunny post of all time: 🏃‍♀️" - @Chessian-Ian

"@theauthorofchickens has it in their bio they can be called "chicken" and literally puts a fish reaction on every post like a stamp --> Did I hesitate?" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"I got downvoted. Prepare to be fish-ed." - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"That's a fish not a blunder icon" - @Chessian-Ian

"CVC has officially lost its mind." - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"bro divided 1 by 0 to get -1" - @ChessGangsta42

"dang it why you guys hate me but love author of chickens" - @Chessian-Ian

"OH NO THE UPVOTE ARMY HAS STARTED NOOOOOOOOOOO" - @KingOfBrilliancy

"I used to think 'ftw' means F- the what. Because wt# means what the f" - @Chessian-Ian

"i beat someone 4 games in a row a month ago and to this day they still send me invites and i keep rejecting lol" - @S-A1M

"random dudes from india keep sending me rapid invites im bout to report" - @SRXster

"I have a losing record against myself. But because I'm playing myself, I also have a winning record against myself." - @Chessian-Ian

"Downvote army... assemble." - @F1-24

"your like the local Christmas historian of the club 😂" - @NoahdeAlwis

"Dogfight me nerd" - @AyyShaman

"TAOC isn't a misspelling of taco it's an abbreviation of theauthorofchickens 😡😡😡😡" - @Chessian-Ian

"where do I get a vehicle // Jump the fence at the nearest airport jk jk don't quote me on that" - @Qoiuoiuoiuoiu

"Don’t forget complaining about the gas prices." - @Caleb341

"I used to think "Xmas" was the atheist version of "Christmas" where they don't celebrate Jesus but still want gifts because their selfish lol" - @Chessian-Ian

"There's always one person who has 14 different personalities arguing about 19 different things in 4 minutes of time" - @Chessian-Ian

"Probably because everyone ate 52 candy bars from Christmas… 😐" - @Caleb341

"There's no topic going around it's like when if you ever had a friend group of like 20 and they all group up and talk about absolutely nothing but nonsense" - @Chessian-Ian

"Christmas 2024: the day it all broke loose in CvC's notes. The owner, Caleb341, stood looking around in utter confusion and disbelief as he watched his fellow clubmates, high on sugar from candy, proceed to yap about the most random and off-topic things." - @FullCrowdedBadger

"Well that makes me feel incredibly safe 💀" - @F1-24

"I'm australia" - @NathanGoatOfChess

"What if we had Mighty Winging, which is Rickrolling but with Mighty Wings" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"For some reason people trust me as a therapist, I try to do my best." - @ackshunbronshun

"mustaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard" - @Chessian-Ian

"We've got an eggs.ca in Canada lol" - @F1-24

"everyone can have a UNIQUE FLAIR THAT IS FREE AND IS FOR EVERYONE! (flair is a icon behind your name for people with membership) SO ALL YOU GO TO DO IS TO CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT or CHEAT (I don't encourage) or make many accounts( i don't encourage)." - @u20181692

"A guy who refuses to die teams up with the son of his late friend, a guy with a lazy callsign, a woman, and two other guys to bomb the enemy's uranium enrichment plant. - Top Gun: Maverick." - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Man goes into space to scream at a bookcase because he doesn't like eating corn - Interstellar" - @Nate_Pi

"Dude gets his pilots license and hates his teacher and they kill all the bad guys - Top gun maverick" - @Zestythefifth

"kid mortally wounded dumb robbers while mother forgets to set her phone alarm - Home alone 1" - @zzz_slash

"It appears that all your blogs are about Marvel movies. This is a chess site. Have you considered making a blog about something to do with chess?" - @justbefair

"POV; After assessing the options and much heated negotiation, we are at a complete stalemate on what christmas movie to watch. Neither side will give in and the outlook is not good. Send best wishes XD" - @F1-24

"This starts off as a forum about me, then I comment, and suddenly condiments are fighting each other." - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Bro's dead" - @Jehtt

"It's been 5.5 months ;-;" - @Jared

"you could sense your name being spoken. that's a true ping right there. A MENTAL ONE" - @ant-x

""Vacation" for 2 months and going-" - @Deflection

"Author coming back from inactivity before Gta 6 is crazy" - @Iconz_t

""yeah bro i can cook" *blows up the kitchen*" - @BlueDoesChess1

"Edit out the swearing or I’ll edit you out of the club💀" - @Jared

"Help me. Im gonna die to the hands of a chicken. Do you want that?" - @Spooky_Germonies

"Eat Author-" - @GMchessminator

"Im away for april fools at a Holy week encounter and i was planning that alll 600 people going should hide in the morning so that the Nuns organizing it freak out lol!!" - @JamesMcD101009

"I love how I say "Let's talk about trees!" and literally everyone follows suit 😂" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Giggity giggity goo USMC im coming for youuuuu😘😘" - @NATO-SHOCK-TROOPS

"My Alexa found pictures of me 💀 It was fun breaking it with my axe though 😏" - @Caleb341

"I'd join but I'm currently trying not to die in a game of mafia." - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"Why are my notes from Paladins Of Chess finding their way into a chickens biography" - @GM_of_Australia

"0_o Indeed. This Chicken is accusing me of being a Molecule." - @TerminalLinux

"LOL I didn't even see y'all were putting on a full FBI case mission for me." - @TerminalLinux

"*Arrests Mod 6* *puts in jail* *reopens @NaturalMolecule* Accident Averted." - @Caleb341

"Wherever, I go, scemer is admin in that club" - @Secretary_bird123

"*chickens screech about needing more fire extinguishers*" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"*goes to read deleted comments in audit log* 😂" - @Caleb341

"Bruh. Everyone is using the club giveaway idea now." - @Caleb341

"I think Jared works with FBI" - @PrimoVictoria1944-Sabaton

"Lily is now a school nurse. Put ice ON EVERYTHING. "TeAcHeR, I DiEd." "ItS oK DaRLiNG, HaVe SoMe IcE"" - @GM_of_Australia

"hurt jester and heal goose(his neck is a bit wonky)" - @NATO-SHOCK-TROOPS

"Chess.com Staff: Well we think it's cool...... Everyone else:😐😶😑🙄" - @CallmeLyric

"Holy moly, it's impossible to find myself in the wall of coords" - @TecDragoman

"My how the tables have turned. Now the majority of staff are admins 😂" - @TheAuthorOfChickens

"I would trust them with the password to my toaster" - @InsanePig23456

"One sec, let me invite some people who are argument prone." - @Caleb341

"Sometime back I was alone and there was a power cut too. No neighbours nobody and there was a haunted field next to my backyard and it had a big eerie well with plants and trees jetting out from it. I was so scarred and my mobile battery was also like 2% I messaged my brother explaining my situation and you know what he replied? A vampire pic lmao 🤣 I ran downstairs to the security lmao 🤣" - @breezehappysquirrel

"Don't get sad by this but I love my cat more then any one of you on chess.com…" - @Nicholas_Bize

"*dumps an entire mag and misses every shot*" - @Y0rNarrator

"Funny story. One time i was watching a twitch streamer with like 20 viewers and i gave a follow and then said hello, but accidentally sent h*ll instead of hello. And she just looked at the screen like "what" and i quickly sent o and an apology." - @GM_of_Australia

"I thought you were going to roast Americans saying they're bad at chess." - @JackRoach

"Scemer's quotes are like a mixtape of insanity and comedy - from threatening knees to canceled Sussy Foxes to debating the existential crisis of donuts. All we need now is for  @AngelaPlayzChess to drop some philosophical wisdom about love hurting more than it heals. (And No, This isn't me trying to get into your quotes again lol)" - @Caleb341

"If LYRIC didnt freaking shoot me i could enjoy the fireworks" - @Clarissaxo-1414

"Today has been wild. I literally saw somebody complaining that their donut has a hole in it." - @Caleb341

"Try being British! Everyone hates us, we'd be on our own." - @Deithy24

"I meant a "m". Goofy keyboard *Slaps Keyboard*" - @Scemer

"I think I wasn't ever gifted Membership because I already had one and people think I'm rich." - @Scemer

"This is what happens when you make photoshop available to everyone." - @IMKeto

"Searching for a new laptop online is basically forcing your current computer to dig its own grave." - @cavalcade321

"its crazy how fast politics can turn from a casual talk to a nuclear war" - @szlenith

"Fear not the player who has practiced 1000 openings, fear the player who has practiced 1 opening 1000 times" - @Cesso91

"Here comes CVC XD" - @Caleb341

Graveyard - Random People Who Haven't Been Online In A While (Kinda to commemorate what happened with me going offline for 8 months IDK)

@Topgun - February 11, 2008

@jbs87 - May 21, 2010

@MariahCarey - January 12, 2011

@Igniga - May 1, 2011

@roleswitch - June 15, 2012

@fighterjet - February 21, 2016

@Lord-Svenstikov - March 3, 2018

@kco - September 11, 2020

@DrCheckevertim - January 17, 2021

@youare9 - August 22, 2021

@ChickenNuggets - August 24, 2022

@Givemeadraw - December 15, 2022

@gmgamil - March 26, 2023

@MrMarshmello3 - May 8, 2023

@Jenadam - May 11, 2023

@Dogeiscooldude - June 20, 2023

@McPickle76 - September 5, 2023

@ACEeast - September 6, 2023

@ChirpyNewt - September 14, 2023

@MrMarshmello001 - September 17, 2023

@vanya436 - October 12, 2023

@AncientKnightBob - October 17, 2023

@Heartbroken-Meowth - December 5, 2023

@knightdragonboy - December 10, 2023

@AlexiaDiazDeCallampe - December 17, 2023

@Gods_lexi - December 22, 2023

@nourrayyan - December 28, 2023

@ajebillarclub - December 29, 2023

@mysterykokot - December 31, 2023

@sadowknight1172 - January 18, 2024

@Username1458L - January 19, 2024

@YanAungSwe - January 22, 2024

@ackshunbronshun - January 26, 2024

@WRT-TITAN - January 30, 2024

@JesusRulesAlways - January 30, 2024

@I_Eat_Shreks_Toes - January 31, 2024

@boubawastaken - February 26, 2024

@How-to-do-IT - February 28, 2024

@Mannansh1909 - March 11, 2024

@safa0717 - March 12, 2024

@MysticalStarlight17 - March 17, 2024

@VirtualKnightJoakim - March 25, 2024

@ChessQueen2133 - March 27, 2024

@susanna520 - April 10, 2024

@PaduNord - April 12, 2024

@Mert0635 - April 13, 2024

@ishanmuhaammad - April 15, 2024

@Borkborkbork123 - April 17, 2024

@picklesonme - April 19, 2024

@77Ruiz - April 23, 2024

@NaturalMolecule - May 2, 2024

@SuperQuaxolotl - May 6, 2024

@annabel3frey - May 14, 2024

@GM_of_Australia - May 25, 2024

@gustavocort - June 17, 2024

@MaybeIWillLostYouMyFriend - June 21, 2024

@ViperAirsoft - July 2, 2024

@Nicholas_Bize - July 22, 2024

@AnimaIrenea - July 25, 2024

@xl357carrot - August 7, 2024

@Striker77233 - September 2, 2024

@ZappBranAgain - September 12, 2024

@theseeker88 - September 27, 2024